Self-love | inner critic to inner coach

From the time we’re young, we receive conflicting feedback from the world.  On one hand, we’re encouraged to pursue our dreams and do what we love, and if we’re lucky we have friends and family to tell us they love us just the way we are.  On the other hand, we often feel like we aren’t good enough, we don’t measure up, or we just don’t have the qualities we want to embody.

 Enter the little voice in our head that criticises us and tells us again and again that we are not enough.
We become quite unforgiving on ourselves, often for things that are entirely out of our control, and it leads us to live small, unhappy lives, eschewing any type of risk or expression of creativity in favor of doing things that make us feel “safe” and “acceptable”.

To break this cycle, we have to change the conversation we have with ourselves in our heads.  It’s easy to see the negative, to be critical of our abilities, our looks, pretty much anything we can observe about ourselves.  Turning your inner voice from a critic into a coach will help you to break this fear-based mental cycle so you can take action on your goals.

Taking action towards our goals is often a stumbling block, and can lead us to settle for mediocre, unsatisfying lives.  Here are a few steps you can take that will begin to shift your thinking into a more positive, progress oriented mindset:

• Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend.  Imagine you’re sitting across from yourself, having a chat over coffee.  As you catch the negative things she’s saying, turn them around into something positive and encouraging, and offer some suggestions on next steps.  This change of context can be all you need to see a new perspective.
• Be proud of your accomplishments.  You don’t have to fall into the trap of egoism to appreciate all the good you’ve done.  Let yourself feel a bit of pride for all the things you’ve been praised for, and accept that you are worthy of that praise. Embrace the golden shadow.
• Be grateful for your potential.  You may not be where you want to be…yet!  But you’ve absolutely made progress on yourself throughout your life.  Where you are right now is only one step on the path.  Understand that it’s a process, and that you’re still on the journey.  Most importantly, it’s YOUR journey, and it won’t be the same as anyone else’s.  Comparing your path to others’ only leads back to that negative spiral of thoughts, and your journey is unique to you. Remind yourself daily – do not compare.
• Do things you love.  Lose yourself in activities you enjoy doing like hiking, painting, or reading.  Get off of social media and pursue your own quests.  Do things that create your life, instead of following others. Once you reconnect with your creative energy you will feel vibrant and empowered.
• Create a mantra of defense.  When that voice pops in shouting insulting, derogatory comments, use an affirmation that reinforces your worthiness, your completeness, or even your awesomeness.  Your own mind is a powerful thing, so reinforce beliefs like this as much as possible.  I would like to share a powerful mantra that came to me while I was on a transformational women’s shamanic retreat. 

I am truth. I am love. I am divine.

YOU are all that and in being that, you are enough - you are more than enough.